Paranormal activity found in Woolwich

Published - May 8th, 2009
By by Gail Martin

starting to think I didn’t get the memo.

Apparently, Woolwich residents have learned a form of communication that I am not privy to.

I think they have tapped the inner reaches of their capabilities, and have learned to use extra sensory perception (ESP).

There can be no other explanation.

Here is my evidence, such as it is:

Every day, I encounter numerous vehicles that seem to be driving aimlessly through the community. The drivers never signal their intentions, yet, somehow, we are expected to know what they are.

There can only be one explanation. They are signaling their intentions through the power of the mind, rather than relying on pesky signals.

It must, somehow, be a less labour-intensive approach.

The same can be said of various high school students, who are seen walking across roads, without looking to see if any cars are coming.

Apparently, they already know.

And much more can be said about the bicyclists in our region, the ones who weave in and out of traffic, seemingly unconcerned about the vehicles passing by. Perhaps they have found some means of protecting themselves from these vehicles, hurtling through traffic at relatively high speeds. Maybe they have perfected telekinesis, and can move cars before they are hit.

I seriously don’t know.

Is there a course I can take, a seminar I can attend? Because it would surely be helpful to read minds, not just in traffic, but also in other areas of my day-to-day living.

It could be helpful at work, for instance, when a project’s deadline is changed, without everyone being informed. Instead of sending an email memo, we could simply think it, and the message would be sent.

At home, I would no longer have to remind my husband three or four times that I have to cover an event, or even tell him where I am going, or when I will be home.

He would simply know.

Think of all the misunderstandings and arguments this could avoid.

So, now, the next time I see someone not signal their turn, or jump out aimlessly into traffic, I’m going to do something different.

Instead of getting upset or frustrated, I’m going to follow them, and track them down. I’m going to ask them how they learned to communicate telepathically, and if I could learn.

If I get any pointers, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Pretty scary huh,